January 2011
28 posts
I want to build our own house. Make our lights out of bottles and jars and mold our own cups and plates and paint them our favorite colors. I want to order Chinese food and eat it out of the boxes and clean it up when we get around to it. I want to find shells on the beach and make wind chimes and hang them in the trees that we could plant in our backyard. I want to take pictures of you laughing...
what I want, is to accept myself for who I am. I want to know, what on earth is going on in my heart. I have years to go, even if I feel like I’m already dying of old age. Even if my body is struggling to hold it’s frame together. Without food and with little sleep my mind wont stay clear. It isn’t sharp and i only feel crazy. I can’t look in the mirror, it’s just too...
hookah, coffee, pack of cigarettes, thesaurus, pens pencils lined paper, endless playlists, one laptop and one typewriter. 34 word documents.
“yes Erica I have laced the trailmix. I have puppies in the car and I don’t want you to see them. You’re going to get very sleepy soon….. Wait why wouldn’t I want you to see puppies? Puppies are nice.”
“russle brand jeans. They have those right.”
“no.”
“russle brand. Ruffles brand? It’s...
You are a manipulative, lying, disgusting, desperate, unattractive, self absorbed, gossiping, trashy, disrespectful, sympathy seeking, idiotic, pathetic excuse of person. I’ll never feel that way about anyone but you.
Anonymous asked: what happen to you?
Anonymous asked: you and evan are such a good looking couple!
old journal entries, scrapbooking;
making unreasonable demands for affection.
your post cards. my three page letters.
we were dancing around his quincy apartment to frank sinatra, and i was so bored. blank. empty headed. a distraught wreck of a person. he fell asleep on my lap and i just sat there til morning. “new york,” he says, “i’d like to go there with you.”
half dead on a bathroom floor. she...
some things i’ve found, sifting through my old journals from 2005-2007;
i ask if you’re okay, and you laugh. “no.” you say, “no.”
i guess i really do love you enough to let you go. and i couldn’t tell you. you’d answer with ‘change is change.’ i need control, i need calm. i need to breathe.
everything just keeps getting reversed. i...
aren’t we all just bi-products? of my god or your evolution?
shaylanicole-deactivated2011091 asked: guess who mailed you a letter today? this girl! :)
minniemegz-deactivated20110703 asked: uhm, its really creepy that i just realized how many girls oogle over your boyfriend. then i typed in his name on tumblr and it got more creepy. so weird. i miss you. i hope rhode island is treating you well.
Anonymous asked: Why do people call you ruca?